"You know what blowjobs are, don't you?"
Jay swiftly asks Emma for oral sex after she realizes what the van at the ravine is really for.

Secret (1) is the fourteenth episode of Season 4 of the Canadian television series, Degrassi: The Next Generation. It originally aired on November 30, 2004 on CTV Television and on July 1, 2005 on The N.


Since the shooting, everyone's been walking on eggshells around Emma. She's tired of people feeling sorry for her and treating her differently. When she goes looking for a way to shake up her life, she finds it down in the ravine inside a van with Jay. She soon finds herself becoming someone she doesn't want to be, and carries the consequences of unspeakable acts she can't undo.

Meanwhile, with the discovery of Craig's bipolar disorder, Ashley, tries to get him help from a support group, only to find out Ellie attends the same one. 

Extended Overview

With the Dracula play coming up in several days, everyone is practicing. 

Backstage, Emma watches Danny practice. When Jay gets up and walks over to her, he startles her by rubbing her shoulders, stating she's tense. She replies that she is always tense. He rubs his hands down her arm and rubs her butt, leaving Emma slightly disturbed and confused.

Not hearing Danny call her onstage, or J.T., till the second or third time, Emma rushes on stage and says her lines with a bored Amy & Alex Nuñez. She looks back at Jay and he smirks at her.
Secrets 1

Later, after Emma gets out of class, her teacher tells her that her participation grade in heavily dropping since the shooting. He tells her, he knows she went through a lot, but she needs to get over it.

Emma doesn't say anything, but walks away. She turns the corner, to see Alex and Jay making out by their locker.

They both look at Emma awkwardly, then Jay tells her to take a picture and it'll last longer.

Alex dips in and humorously tells her, she can sell it online for pornographic money. She awkwardly ignores them too and walks away with Jay looking at her while she walks away.

Later, while rehearsing for the play, Darcy continuously forgets her lines. When she keeps asking for her lines, Emma blurts them out for her.

J.T. asks Liberty why she hired Darcy. Emma finishes the rest of the lines for her and Darcy gets upset, telling Emma prompting is Liberty's job. Ms. Kwan, tells them all they should take a break.

J.T. tells Darcy, he's playing a character and directing, and he knows his line, and tells her maybe he should find someone else to play her role... Darcy realizes what he's saying, and quits herself. 

After rehearsal, Manny, says they should cancel the play while they have the chance. Amy talks about how she should be 'Nina Virgin' Alex says that's acting alright! Emma sits down, and places the hat on her, and says all the lines.

Manny tells her she should totally be Nina, but Emma declines and says just because Darcy is gone, it won't mean she'll get the part.

Amy then begins to worry where her "special" bracelets are. Manny asks her old friend (who have been at strain with her for a while) to come over her house with Liberty, and their gonna give each other make-overs.

Emma declines, saying it won't be no fun with her there, and gets her jacket, but sees the bracelets Amy was talking about. She hands them to Amy, and she snatches them away from her.

When Emma is walking home, Jay pulls up in his car, and brags about how his car has more than 15 speakers. He tells her, he'll give her a ride and she takes his offer and gets in the car.

She begins to tell him her address, but he knows it already, after he dropped her off home when Sean gone. She says she misses him too, but Jay says that's not what he said, and told her not to get mushy. 

When she gets home, Emma quietly walks into her house, to hear her mom and dad discussing about how worried they are for her. She never brings friends over, no dates or nothing and how they think she hasn't gotten over the shooting.

Snake points out, none of the other students didn't get a gun pointed at them and no one watched someone die.

Emma puts on a happy act and acts as if she didn't just hear their conversation. When they ask her if she's alright, she smiles and says she's totally fine.

Later that night, Emma lied on her bed, bored. Manny called her, but she ignored the call. She remembered what Jay had told her about the ravine and how she should come. So, she gets her jacket & sneaks out of the house to go to the ravine. 

At the Ravine, she sees kids smoking and drinking and finds Jay. She asks him if he thinks she is weird.

He replies no, and that he think she's fine. She than sees Amy come out of a van, and put a bracelet on her wrist and walk away. Emma asks what's in the van, and Jay tells her he'll show her.

When they get in the van, Jay kisses Emma. A startled Emma pulls away, surprised. He tells her that the van is actually, for hooking up. She asks him what he means by that, and he asks if she does know what blowjobs are (oral sex).

Emmy begins to scurry out of the van, but Jay catches her and ties the bracelet around her wrist. He tells her that every player wins a prize.

After he gives her the bracelet, she opens the van, gets out and runs away.

The next day, when Liberty tells J.T. how disappointed she is in him when he fired Darcy, Emma stands up and says all of Nina's lines perfectly.

J.T. is stunned. Liberty tells her she needs a actress who is rock-solid ready. She tells Liberty she is ready.

Liberty points out that she's been late for cues and how she didn't even come over Manny's house last night and that everyone knows she's "off."

Emma tells her she's not off, and that she is their Nina. Later, at practice, J.T. tells everyone Emma is the new Nina.

When practice starts, Emma has to kiss Dracula, but she gets embarrassed. 

After practice ends, Amy and Alex mocks Emma about how she can't even kiss a boy onstage.

When Emma bends down and flaunts her wristband over Amy, Amy freaks out and asks if that is hers. Emma tells her that it's hers. Emma runs to Jay and tells him about the wristband is 'Amy-Kryptonite'.

Jay tells Emma maybe she should shut up because she didn't earn anything and that Amy did. Emma questions Jay about him and Amy actually having oral sex.

Jay tells Emma, there were many girls there last night, but he only wanted her

Emma goes back to the ravine that night, and asks for another 'tour'. Jay says she already had the tour.

Emma tells him that she wants the tour for real this time. Jay smiles and leads her into the van and oral sex is implied.

After having oral sex with Jay, Emma sneaks back home at 2:00 in the morning. After her parents catch her, Emma breaks down crying about how she can't get over the shooting and how she's so scared.

Her parents tell her there is always tomorrow to talk, and Emma says there is nothing to worry about.

They leave and go to bed, but once they get upstairs, Emma smirks and looks at her bracelet. 

Sub Plot

Later, Ellie and Ashley are outside sitting at the lunch table. Ashley seems deep in thought, and Ellie flaunts her fashion magazine to get her out of the daze. Ashley tells her she's worried about Craig, Ellie tells her she shouldn't worry, and take advice from the 'wacko' (herself). Craig comes over, asking who's a wacko, and they change the subject. Ellie gets up and leave. Ashley asks her how he's been, and Craig abruptly asks her what her and Ellie were talking about. Ashley asks him, if he would go to a a support group. Craig tells her his desire to talk about something else than his Bipolar. She asks him, just to go for one night, and if he hates it, he doesn't have to go anymore. He says he will hate it, but he'll go anyways.

At the group meeting, people tell everyone about how they feel and what they went through. When Craig tells everyone about he he feels, Ellie enter the room and he is surprised.

Craig tells Ashley about how upset he was that she sent him to Ellie's group.

Ellie goes over to Craig's house and asks how about guitars, but tells him it's just a fake excuse. She then talks to Craig about how she used to cut herself. Craig tells her that he's bipolar. Ellie tries to cheer him up by saying Kurt Cobain was bipolar and that he'll be fine, and how he should call Ashley and apologize. She tells him that Ashley really cares about him, a lot.

Ashley goes over to Craig's, and Craig talks about how he just wants to be her boyfriend and have normal conversations.

  • Craig and Ellie became friends in this episode.

  • Marquee: "Coming Soon to Degrassi Castle Dracula"
  • J.T.: "Forgive me, Libby Tibby, my ickle knobby wobby pumpkin head! Pwease!"
  • Jay [To Emma]: Every player gets a prize. (wrapping the bracelet around Emma's wrist)
  • Emma: "Do you think I'm weird?"
    Jay: "Now there's a loaded question."
    Emma: "Everyone's been acting like I belong in a straight-jacket."
    Jay: "That's their problem. You're no weirder than the rest of us."
  • Craig: "You sent me to Ellie's group."
    Ashley: "Which she loves. I didn't think you'd mind."
    Craig: "Well, then you didn't think at all."
  • Emma: (acting) "Dearest Lucy, I swear. You rose four times from bed. You dressed yourself completely."
  • Emma: "What's in the van?"
    Jay: "What do you think's in the van?"
    Emma: Beer, more beer, smelly shag carpeting from the 70's..."
  • Alex: (referring to Emma) "Oh Amy, that's mean. The poor girl suffers from Penis-a-phobia."
  • Ashley: (about her dad and Chris) "They asked about you."
    Craig: About who? Crazy Craig?"
  • Ellie: "Craig, I used to cut myself."
    Craig: "I know."
    Ellie: "And what's bizarre is that I'm always gonna be a cutter. Even if I don't do it for years, it's still me."
    Craig: "Well, that sucks."
    Ellie: "It just - it just is. It doesn't matter how I feel or how anyone else feels."
    Craig: "I'm bipolar. And apparently it doesn't matter if I think that sucks either."
    Ellie: "They think Kurt Cobain was bipolar."
    Craig: "Yeah."
    Ellie: "If he accepted it, maybe it all would have been different. Nigel from group manages okay."
    Craig: "He seemed cool."
    Ellie: "He is! You should come back. And you should probably call Ash."
    Craig: "Why? Why? 'Cause I bit her head off in the middle of the school."
    Ellie: "Yeah, maybe 'cause of that."
    Craig: "All she talks about lately is my medication, my shrink and my moods."
    Ellie: "She cares about you. A lot."
    Craig: "I know."

  • "Hung" by Quad
  • "Once It Starts" by Supergarage
  • "Stuck" by Quad