Summary: Elarisol hits a rough patch. Song title is Foolish by the Princess of Hiphop and Rnb, Ashanti 🥺
————— He knew he had just made a massive mistake.
Eli pulled up his briefs and jeans, and then re-buckled his belt as Marisol pulled her panties back up and pulled her skirt back down. She then buttoned up her shirt. When she crawled back to the driver’s seat of her car, she let out a happy hum as she looked in the mirror and reapplied her lip gloss. She was probably feeling ecstatic right now while he could only feel shame at what happened.
They didn’t have sex but they crossed several lines related to it.
He went down on her and she was in the middle of returning the favor when K.C. walked in on them. If he didn’t, they would have actually had sex and Eli was scared to admit he wouldn’t have minded at all. He was feeling pleasure like he never had before and he was begging Marisol to not stop. However as soon as he spotted K.C. staring at them in horror, it was like a giant wave of disgust suddenly crashed over him and all feelings of pleasure were gone.
Eli didn’t know whether to feel ashamed of himself, be angry at KC for interrupting them, or to thank him the next time he sees him at school. For all he knew, the guy probably wanted to avoid him for a while.
His mind, the part that he thought was the rational one at the moment, was telling him to be thankful as he was already regretting what he and Marisol had done. This play was all about getting Clare back by showing her what a villain her boyfriend was, and he possibly ruined his chances of getting her back by hooking up with Marisol. What would she think of him? What would the school think of him if word got out about this?
He should feel ashamed of himself because he had never hooked up with a girl before this. With Julia and Clare, he had jumped straight into relationships with them, and with Julia they didn’t even get sexual until a year after they dated. How did he let it get this far with Mare when he didn’t even like her for months until she signed on for the play? Julia would snarl at him for hooking up with a “pom-pom bimbo”.
He had not had any sort of sexual activity in a year, and the first girl he had done it with since then was not Clare, the girl he loved, but Marisol. Clare would be disappointed in him and possibly never get back together with him now. He promised her when they were together that he would wait for her and he failed that promise. She would hate him.
His heart was at conflict with his mind. His heart was trying to tell him this wasn’t a mistake even though it was. From the backseat, Eli looked at Marisol, who was now brushing her hair to fix the wild state it was in. She was beautiful, so beautiful. Within two months of him getting to know her, the real her that was more than just lip gloss and poms poms, he realized that she was a caring, funny, amusing, bright, and easy going person underneath her shallow exterior. She challenged every negative opinion he previously had of her and replaced them with positive ones instead. Being with her was the most fun he had since.....since....
.....Being with Clare.
He couldn’t have been falling in love with Marisol in just two months, could he? Whatever feelings they were they obviously didn’t measure up for the love he felt for Clare. Clare Edwards was an angel who came in and saved him from the darkest period of his life. Clare was so innocent, so sweet, and just so pure that he couldn’t help but be madly in love with her even though she left him for a goofy lumberjack kid. That abomination of a relationship will soon be over however because Love Roulette will show that they were meant to be. They were Romeo and Juliet, Jane and Rochester, Heathcliff and Catherine, and Paris and Helen. He couldn’t fathom them not being together.
“That was amazing, Eli. I want more,” Marisol purred, giving him a seductive smile. He bit his lip as he could only nod in return. His body definitely wanted Marisol as her own body was perfect. He tried not to think about how good it felt kissing her sweet lips, caressing her soft skin with his fingers, or how he enjoyed pleasuring her. He tried not to think of how he must have been doing a great job because of how loud she was moaning.
The more he tried not to think about how good the hookup was, the more he was thinking about it, and if he didn’t stop he was going to get aroused again and do something he would regret.
“Take me home, please,” he requested as he got back into the front passenger seat. He buckled himself in while Marisol gave him one of her dazzling smiles that made his heart race.
“I know you’re not ready for a relationship but when you are, I’ll be ready,” she told him as she turned her car on.
“Not right now with the play,” he answered quickly as she pulled out of the parking lot.
“Well yeah, that’s what I mean. Whenever you’re ready I’ll be ready. I’m willing to wait for you,” she replied, shrugging.
The ride to his house was silent and for some reason it felt like it was taking forever.
Eli mused over this situation. It was a total disaster and he wanted to blame Marisol. Marisol was a seductive temptress and she had cast a spell on him. A dangerous siren that lead him astray from his goal and instead controlled his body and mind. The more time he spent with her, the more he was distracted from winning Clare back.
He had to nip whatever attraction he had for Marisol Lewis in the bud.
She was not Clare Edwards, and he couldn’t allow her to ever be.
—————
Marisol was on Cloud Nine when she got home. Her stomach felt like it was on air.
They did not have sex, but what they did was still special.
The way Eli explored her body made it feel like it was on fire. No one had ever kissed her like that. There was so much passion with how he used his lips and tongue. It was soft, tender, and deep all at once. She wasn’t used to that from a guy at all, and she was a little shaken by it honestly. Is this what love felt like?
What was more exciting than anything was the idea of finally making their relationship official. Hooking with Eli was great, especially since that used to be her main goal in the first place, but she wanted more than that. A sexual affair wasn’t enough to satisfy her.
She was too deeply in love with him for that. Eli was her everything. He was a truly great guy despite his scary goth persona. He was an edgy emo kid, but it made him stand out from the typical, boring jocks. He was a sarcastic asshole at times, but he was genuinely funny. While he liked to flaunt his intelligence at times, she did appreciate his brilliant mind and how he spoke to her as an equal. Once he no longer saw her as silly, they were able to have long conversations and he listened to everything she had to say. For once, she felt a guy wasn’t talking to her just because he wanted to fuck her. As for his work, she loved the passion and effort he put into the play. Love Roulette was going to be so amazing and she was glad to be apart of it even with a small role as a makeup artist.
However what stuck out the most about Eli was that he risked his life to save her from getting raped. They barely even knew each other but he fought for her when she needed him, and comforted her by bringing her gifts and throwing a whole party for her. He was a hero, her hero.
She was still trying to cope with her sexual assault. It was not easy as she still felt dirty. She bathed at least three times a day, couldn’t sleep with the lights off, and covered herself in thick blankets even in the increasingly hot weather. She was still so scared of being alone but with Eli, she felt like she could take on anything. Eli Goldsworthy was her safe space, her comfort in all of this, and her prince. She gave herself up to him because she trusted him and he would never hurt her.
Ever.
——————-
Monday
He texted her this morning to not pick him up from school. That was the first step towards blocking her out from his life. He avoided her in every way he could, and rebuffed her when she tried to talk to him during some of their classes. He avoided Katie too at lunch.
He was getting books out of his locker after school was over when he spotted Marisol walking over to him. He blanched, turned around, and tried to walk down the hallway only for her to run in front of him.
“Eli, what the hell? What’s going on you? You’ve been ignoring me all day!” Marisol barked with frustration clear on her face.
Eli took a deep breath. This was about to be one of the most difficult experiences of his life.
“Marisol...last night was a mistake,” Eli told her.
She looked at him in confusion.
“What do you mean? It was great. You enjoyed it. We both did,” she replied, folding her arms.
“I did not,” he lied, “I wasn’t in the right state of mind. I wasn’t thinking properly.”
She giggled nervously in response. “Don’t be silly, Eli. You can’t regret hooking up with me because you initiated nearly every encounter we had. You’re just scared to take us to the next level, and it’s okay,” she tried to argue, but he shook his head.
“Marisol, there’s never going to be an us. Last night was a mistake because I don’t want you....I want Clare,” he said sorrowfully, “We were never supposed to go that far. Being with you these past two months was wonderful but I let it progress to a level it shouldn’t have. I don’t love you. I love Clare, and this play is about winning her back. You have been distracting me.”
“No I haven’t or otherwise you wouldn’t want me around,” she argued.
“See that’s the problem, that I keep letting you around when I’m supposed to be working on the play. It has led to a lot of confusion between us and I’m making things clear,” he pointed out.
He watched in sadness as her face crumbled. Tears welled up in her big eyes as she shook her head in denial. This was absolutely painful but needed to be done.
Marisol reached out to cup his face as she started to cry.
“Eli, don’t say that please. You don’t mean that. After everything that happened, you love me. I know it,” she pleaded.
“I’m sorry, Mare,” he rejected back, “Thank you for everything but I think it’s for the best if we don’t interact for a while. Your services won’t be needed for the play.”
He watched as her face slowly contorted into rage.
“Fuck you, Eli,” she snarled as she turned away and walked away.
He watched her leave with a sullen look on his face. This was a hard thing for him to do but it needed to be done. Marisol could never measure up to Clare.
So why did this secretly break him inside?
He felt a tap on his shoulder.
He looked, and Imogen suddenly stood next to him with a bright smile on her face.
“So now that you got Marisol out of the way, you can focus on me, right?”
“Of course, you’ve been good to me this entire time,” he said while putting on a fake smile.
—————-
“I hate him, I hate him, I HATE HIM!” Marisol screamed in anger as she threw her pillow at the wall. “After everything I have done for him! I gave him my heart! Fucking bastard!”
She couldn’t believe what happened today.
Eli rejecting her after their hookup? Him essentially telling her that she never mattered to him compared to Clare even she dedicated so much of her with him over Love Roulette? After all of the time they spent together? After they almost fucked twice? She couldn’t wrap her mind around it. She thought they had built a genuine connection that was leading to something more. She thought they were in love. She certainly was with him, but he threw her away for a girl who was dating a guy that looked like her brother.
She blew him.
Marisol grew nauseous at the fact that she gave a blowjob to another guy that only wanted her for her body. It made her sick. She really was the biggest fool at school, wasn’t she? First Owen used her, now Eli and she let them do that.
Katie wrapped her arms around her and held her while she cried. She expected her best friend to give her a “I told you so” rant, but Katie was only supportive. It must be because of Katie being used to hearing her cry over boys at this point. She felt bad that her best friend had to put up with her bullshit. It’s been like this since middle school. She knew she must be tired at this point.
“I’m so sorry, Mare,” Katie replied as she rubbed her back while she cried.
“I just thought that he was different from the other guys. I thought he loved me. Do you know how good it feels to think someone loves you? I thought he was different!” Marisol ranted. “Katie, he kissed me first! He went down on me first! But he acted like I took advantage of him! He used me!”
“Eli is a disgusting pig and he needs to pay. I’m making his life a living hell,” Katie snarled in disgust.
“Don’t kill him,” she begged. As much as she hated him right now, she didn’t want him dead, and she knew murder was Katie’s ideal way of handling Eli. That or beating his ass.
“Don’t worry, Mare. Death is easier than what I’m about to do to him,” Katie replied in a chilling tone.
—————————
It was two days before the play and Eli was having a good morning even though it rained heavily.
Sure Bullfrog wouldn’t stop nagging him about his medication but he assured him he didn’t need it. Eli haven’t felt so good in weeks. Why? Because soon Jake Martin would no longer be an obstacle between him and Clare. He would be a distant, irrelevant memory while he and Clare resume their epic romance. He was looking forward to kissing her again, brainstorming ideas together, and spending alone time in his room.
Not only was he going to be known as the writer of the best Degrassi play in history, but he was going to win his dream girl back. It was a love story for the ages.
He walked to his locker with almost a bounce in step. Things could only go up from here. However, he frowned in confusion as several students were crowding around his locker, laughing.
“What the hell is going on here?” He demanded out of the other students. They all snickered as they dispersed to give him access.
That’s when he saw the paint and the pictures.
The words “Eli Pigsworthy” was painted in an ugly, light shade of pink in big bold letters. There were pictures of pigs taped up and down his locker with his face on every picture.
“What the fuck?” He muttered to himself in shock. Who could do this?
“Hey Eli, do you like the new look? I figured your locker needed a new makeover after last night,” Katie Matlin greeted him with a cold smile as she walked up to him.
“If this is about Marisol, then that’s none of your business what happened between us!” He shouted.
“When it concerns Marisol, it is my business! Who do you think you are, using her and tossing her away like trash? You should be lucky she even looked at you in the first place you emo freak!” Katie shouted back.
“What we had wasn’t real!” He argued.
“That’s for sure because you’re a filthy, manipulative, bastard with no respect for girls. I never knew what Mare saw in you in the first place but I’m glad it’s over. You’re a piece of shit and I hope the play is a disaster,” Katie sneered as she walked off.
Eli balled his fists up as his good morning was ruined now. He never liked Katie as she was an uptight snob with a frosty personality. She gave him attitude every time they interacted. He didn’t understand how her and Marisol were best friends at all when at least Marisol had a brighter energy than her. He was over it. She didn’t even know what she was talking about. He didn’t “use” Marisol. She was a distraction from getting Clare back and he couldn’t let it continue. He felt bad for leading her on but Marisol also wouldn’t leave him alone.
After getting his stuff out of his locker, he walked into English class with a stormy look on his face. The first person he confronted was not Clare, who was looking at him in apprehension, but Marisol who was just looking out the window. He used to not understand why Marisol was in his English class when she rarely had anything profound to discuss or write. One night though, while they were talking at the restaurant, Marisol had revealed to his surprise that she liked reading poetry and was able to name some of her favorite poets. She even cited them as an inspiration for what she was going to do for their final English project.
At the time, Eli enjoyed their conversation but now it was a memory he would like to forget.
“You unleashed Katie on me?” He asked her with a sharp tone. She turned around and he was taken aback by how red her eyes were. It looked she was crying all night.
“Whatever Katie did to you, I had no part in but you probably deserved it,” she replied with a glare.
“I deserved to have my locker vandalized with my face printed on pictures of pigs?” He shot back. She shrugged in response.
“Well you are a pig,” she told him icily.
The bell rang for class, and he went back to his seat in anger. Not only was Jake his enemy but now Katie and Marisol as well. They were all conspiring to ruin his life and he won’t let them.
Ms. Dawes walked in cheerfully.
“Good morning, class. Are we ready for the presentations, today?” She greeted. “Who wants to go first?”
“I will,” Marisol answered. Ms. Dawes gave her an encouraging smile as she got up with a piece of paper in her hands. She marched up to the front of the class.
“For my presentation, I did a poem,” she announced to the class.
“What is the name of it?” Dawes asked her.
“Elijah,” she answered while staring straight at him.
The air was filled with tension as everyone around him started whispering. Eli already had a bad feeling about this and meet Marisol’s eyes with anger.
“Everyone quiet down. Marisol, begin,” Dawes ordered. Marisol took a deep breath as she began to read.
“Beware of snakes in the grass Harmless at first but will strike viciously without remorse Beware of how they can slither up your body And choke your life away.”
Marisol started off the poem and the rage radiating off of her was almost palatable. He could feel the negative energy towards him.
“Beware of demons that appear to you like angels With a sweet voice and promises to give you the world They hide their forked tongues and devilish intentions They hide it so they can take your soul.”
The whispers started up again as everyone was either looking at him or Marisol. Eli gripped his desk in great discomfort. She was telling lies about him. She was smearing his name in the dirt before the play to ruin his reputation.
“Beware of pigs in the pen Pink and cute at first But reveal their disgusting ways soon enough From how they roll around in the mud and dirty themselves.”
So that’s where Katie got the idea from. He overheard several of his classmates comment “Eli Pigsworthy” while giggling. He felt his face grow red. She never stopped looking at him.
“I thought you were the one for me You seemed so different from the rest You challenged me, you listened to me You held me, kissed me, and touched me like no did before.”
Despite him not wanting it to, shame creeped up inside of him at Marisol’s words. But he shouldn’t feel shame, should he?
“I gave you my heart for you to hold I gave you my soul for you to keep I gave you my mind for you to blow I gave you my body for you to pleasure.”
Her voice was growing louder with each stanza, and if the poem wasn’t about him, he would have been proud of the passion she put into writing it. She was proving herself to be a great writer. But instead, he could only feel nauseous as she pretty much outed their hookup to the entire class. He could feel Clare staring intensely at the back of his head.
He also felt hurt. He didn’t know whether it was just for himself or for Marisol, who started tearing up again. She was clearly in pain and he didn’t know to react. He didn’t mean for them to get that close, and he didn’t know she was hurting that bad.
“But you threw it all away for what? I meant nothing to you? Not a thing? Even when I gave you my all? Even when I trusted you with all of my heart?”
He started squirming in his seat as everyone stared at him, even Ms.Dawes who gave him a look that was almost in disappointment.
“You stomped on me, crushed me, ripped me apart You used me like he did without a second thought Yet you think of yourself as a better man And I bet you will still think of yourself as a hero.”
She was comparing him to Owen, Christ. He refused to think of any similarities between him and that meathead. Her words were stinging at him in an agonizing manner. He was better than Owen, was he?
Was he?
“I can’t even bring myself to hate you Because I love the side of you I thought was real But you made it so that I can’t even look at you And the tears can’t stop falling from my eyes.”
She finished as her voice cracked on the final stanza. She was gripping her paper tightly as the entire class clapped for her. Wiping her eyes, she went back to her seat while giving him a piercing glare. If looks could kill, he would be dead.
“Beautiful but heartbreaking, Marisol. Excellent job,” Dawes complimented. She only nodded in gratitude.
He wanted the ground to swallow him up.
Pretty much every girl in the room was sending him disgusted looks, even Clare, and he knew that by the end of the day the whole school will know about Marisol’s poem. Everyone was going to know about their hookup and the resulting fallout. His reputation was going to be trashed before the play.
He couldn’t even get his full emotions together on the matter. He came into school not regretting turning Marisol away, even if it did hurt. Clare was the end goal, not her. He loved Clare Edwards, not Marisol Lewis. They were not meant to be. That moment they shared two nights was a mistake. But he felt her pain as she read the poem, and it stabbed him in the gut. He never intended to hurt her and make her feel used. He genuinely cared about her for helping him with the play, but he had to stop whatever was progressing between before he got confused.
But was breaking her heart worth it? He was starting to think otherwise.
He never felt so dirty before.
—————
She looked through her phone for pictures of her and Eli.
Marisol debated whether she wanted to delete them or not. Eli had hurt her on a level she wasn’t sure she could recover from. He led her on, made it seem like they had something special, and then tossed her away like yesterday’s trash. She couldn’t believe he blocked her Facerange, her email, AND her number. He was like Owen. Maybe not in personality or looks, but in spirit. They were both trash.
She felt sick to her stomach as she looked at the picture they took at Movie Night together. That night was something she used to treasure but now the memory would only bring her pain.
This whole semester was the most traumatic experience of her life. She was sexually harassed, then sexually assaulted and nearly gangraped outside her job. And now, even though that was the least of her problems, the guy she fell in love with blatantly told her that they weren’t meant to be after they just hooked up the night before. Did he ever give a shit about her, or was she just a rebound until he could get Clare back? That’s what he basically admitted.
Eli had the nerve to look guilty when she read her poem in class today. Good, she hoped he never found peace. She hoped Virgin Edwards would crush his heart into pieces. She hoped the play flopped and Eli was never allowed to be involved in a school production again. She even hoped that he would forever be known as the biggest pig at school and that no girl would want to even speak to him again. Fuck Eli Goldsworthy.
She fucking hated the male species. All of them were bastards of the highest order.
All boys did in her life was use her, degrade her, manipulate her, assault her, and break her heart.
From now on, she would only depend on herself.
She was all she had at this point.